Eva Cassidy - Time is a Healer

There was a period in my life about 10 years where nothing seemed to be going right in my life. My career wasn’t what I thought it would be and I had no real love life to speak of (I was seeing someone but it was mostly physical). I was living in a basement apartment and generally feeling pretty shitty about myself. During this period I had always thought that my friends would be there for me

One day, I get an email from 2 of them, Jackie and Karen. Both laid it out that I was not the same person I used to be and they decided I shouldn’t be in their life anymore. This really threw me for a loop. I always considered myself a good friend, fun to be with, there to listen when you had a problem, etc. I had no idea they felt this way about me. I was confused, hurt, and blamed THEM for what had happened to our friend ship. Sure I may have been a little cranky at times, but they had there own issues as well.

A couple emails were exchanged, each getting worse and more hurtful. Eventually we severed any ties we had with each other and went our separate ways, every one blaming the other for what happened. This put me into an even deeper hole. I refused to admit that I did anything wrong and they should take responsibility. I continued this line of thinking for a few months after.

Over the next year or so, after much soul searching I eventually realized that I did play a big part in it. I had been moody, cranky and without knowing it, I had taken took out my frustrations on my friends. At that point it was too late to apologize, the damage was done. They had gone on with their lives, and I had as well. I changed careers at this point and life was starting to look up again.

Over the next few years, my work life improved greatly (new job WOOHOO), my self esteem was up and I met my amazing wife. But there was always a nagging regret in the back of my mind about the way things had ended between the three of us. I missed them.


“All of those years we spent together
Well they're part of my life forever
I hold the joy with the pain
And the truth is I miss you my friend”


They were such a big part of my life for many years that I can’t even begin to think about who I would be today without them. We may have had a falling out but now when I look back, I think of all the great times we had together and the friendship we had developed.

Thanks to the magic of the internet and Facebook, a couple years ago I reconnected with Jackie. We exchanged a couple emails, explaining what we went through all those years ago and came to the conclusion that we were both to blame. (I probably was a little more at fault).

We will never have the friendship we had before. We’re both in different places in our lives and it would be impossible to have that again. But we’re friends again, and it makes me happy knowing that no matter what happens, we all have the power within ourselves to move on, let the bad stuff go, forgive and get on with life.

Life’s to short to carry a grudge.